As part of an Advent study last month, I realized that I struggle with having hope. Just hope - no expectations. I don't think expectations are bad, but unmet expectations lead to disappointment. I wrestled with the hope of Jesus and what that means to me as a Christ follower, especially at Christmas. Honestly, I tried to avoid thinking about it but, in the quiet moments before I fell asleep or while driving, I continued to ponder what hope means to me.
I have a lot of friends who choose a word or theme for the year and I was planning to join them this year with the theme of "intentionally less" (I have some clutter in my life that needs to make an exit). As I thought more about hope and what it means to me, I realized that I needed to make a different choice for my word for 2017. I needed a theme with a positive connotation. So, I chose hope.
But here's the thing: I don't know what hope means to me. I don't know how hope plays out in my life. I'm not sure that I even know what it means to hope. How do I have hope without expectations? I have no idea. I want to learn how to hope. So, I'm going to read about hope. And I'm going to talk to my friends about hope. Somehow, in the midst of the 1000+ ping pong ball-like thoughts bouncing around my mind on any given day, I'm going to learn how to lean into hope. If I figure it out, I will probably get a tattoo that says hope (don't tell my mom 😉). This is a place for me to document my journey.
